Saturday, 2 August 2008

It's been a strange year. To say that I've been in an emotional maelstrom would be an understatement.

The first anniversary of Princes death was pretty tough, although I seemed to deal with it in my usual upside-down way. For the few days before I thought I was going to be OK, and was fairly philosophical. And then on the day itself, I fell apart without warning. Almost as though someone had whispered in my ear that it had just happened. I was as though all the shock, disbelief and pain from a year ago had been introduced again. One of the many things I've learned over the past year is that I'm useless at dealing with grief, and still don't seem to be able to accept what happened and move forward.

Whilst I'm on the subject of grief, I have to mention Brian and Kerrio over at Blogs from the Dogs. They've lost two of their wonderful pack in the space of a couple of weeks - Megan, and then Kubrin only a couple of days ago. How do you deal with that? My heart goes out to them - they must be falling apart at the moment.

Tilly has been my saviour over the past year. I'm now approaching a much happier anniversary, that of Tillys' arrival nearly a year ago. She's simply wonderful. An absolute joy. Unless you're a rabbit, of course.

I've lost count of the number of times I've been out walking, as miserable as sin, and I've glanced ahead to see her cavorting with another dog or simple streaking into the undergrowth, and smiled a truly happy smile. I don't do that very often now, and when I do it's almost invariably Tilly that prompts it.

She's made great progress over the past year. Gone are the days of her being scared of traffic, unreliable with horses, and a terror off the lead. Her recall is amazing, even if she still likes to be a mile ahead, and she's becoming a bit of a secret softy. But don't tell anyone.

Thanks for all your kind comments and ongoing support. I might be around a little more over the next few weeks, but I'll save that for next time. Oh, and I promise - no more overly maudlin posts!!


Flowerpot said...

I do feel for you G and I know just what its like. I'm the same - think I'm prepared for something and then suddenly Woosh - I fall flat on my face, tripped up by a tsunami of emotions. I am so glad you have Tilly - she sounds just what you need and you've obviuosly trained her brilliantly. As for being nosy - well, all journalists are nosy arent they?! It's a prerequisite of teh job!!

Fiona said...

Oh Graham, I know exactly what you mean. I watched an old video of Yogi last weekend for the first time in 6 months. It was hard. Tilly will see you OK.
P.S its great to hear from you !!

Meg said...

I'm so glad you have Tilly, even if she is a holy terror to bunnies. :) I know they say "time heals" but I agree with you, it's still very hard. I was talking about Buck (my previous Flatcoat mix) today and got all teary and missed him like crazy....and it's now been 9.5 years since he passed.

In response to your comment, I should be posting again died and I have just bought a new one now. Need to figure out how to work video with the new programs and I'll post some video footage I took today of my pups and their wacky neighbor dog. It is highly amusing video of a crazy Golden Retriever trying to figure out how to work the spray nozzle on her garden hose so she can get wet.

Chips said...

who said "grief is the price we pay for love" or something like that? I wouldn't say that getting upset is a sign of not coping with grief. I would say it is a sign of a brilliant relationship, and one you miss. Nothing to beat yourself up about but a sign of something very special you had.

thinkin of you Graham
and the beautiful Tilly

& followers

Nunhead Mum of One said...

And another very gorgeous dog! Glad you're able to post more often.

That pure, unconditional love you receive from your pets is just lovely isn't it?

love from Nunhead Mum and the woofers

Patience-please said...

It's only been a year. I do think that the last gift our dogs give us is to fill the hole they leave in our hearts with happy smiling memories. Our dogs would dismayed at the notion that anything to do with them causes us pain or sadness.
And I believe with all my being that they are wagging at us, and encouraging us, still.

all the best-

Graham, Prince & Tilly said...

I'm not sure about the training I've delivered Sue - but you're very kind!

Thanks Fiona - you're very brave. I haven't been able to prgress to many videos yet...

Hi Meg, good to hear that you're OK.

Thanks Chips - you always make sense!!

Thanks NM - unconditional love is a rare find outside the canine kingdom sometimes!

Thanks Patience - I totally agree. Prince would be most unimpressed by my ongoing moping....

sama said...

graham, i miss my beloved topsy every second of every day. it's been a long time now, but she is still in my heart, and my thoughts, and i just know that she sent me google! i wouldn't be without my little houdini!

Kerrio said...

I never got round to saying thankyou for this. May have been a bit distracted.

Thankyou :-)