Monday, 17 December 2007

Country Life....

It's been an eventful week at Trotters' residence. She's been in fine fettle, whilst I've been battling with that high profile medical phenomenon - man-flu. Of course, I'm suffering far more than most....

Now, I'll be the first to highlight the benefits of living in a rural area, but it's not always all it's cracked up to be. Taking aside the sub-zero cottage, poorly maintained roads and limited services, there's also the wildlife to deal with.

I was sitting in the kitchen yesterday morning, bemoaning my poor health and tucking into a medicinal bacon sandwich, when a strange sight caught my eye. My car had been enveloped by an enormous throng of rather feisty looking sheep. As I stood up, I witnessed the spectacle of hundreds of sheep streaming down the drive towards the road. They were very purposeful, and clearly intent on making it to the pub for opening time. As I continued to watch, they got to the end of the drive and promptly turned left - complete with a game auld ewe hobbling along ten minutes after them on three legs, as there always is.

Many frantic phone calls later, I was to be found with four of my close neighbours and the scarlet-faced farmer, standing in the road trying to convince a hundred over-excited sheep that they would really like to retrace their steps and bugger off back into the field they came from. With some rather impressive handling of a quad bike, much swearing, and a lot of arm waving, we succeeded. It was a healthy way to spend a Sunday morning.

I also have livestock problems in the house. And no, I don't mean Tilly. Since my neighbours have acquired two cats, the mice have all decamped to my house. They're quite considerate and only frequent the airing cupboard and loft as far as I can tell, but I can't say they're welcome. For the past few weeks I've been reducing the population with mousetraps and I've been quite pleased with the results. However, mere minutes before 'sheep-gate' yesterday I'd checked the traps with great anticipation. What do I find? A shrew..... Since when did shrews come into houses? Is this unique? Will I find an antelope tomorrow? Bloody hell....

11 comments:

Lesley Rigby said...

Don't be offering us a bed for New Year's Eve!!!

HandH said...

Must be the smell of the bacon sandwiches!Or else it's not as arctic as you think...Perhaps Tilly could be trained to be a shrew-hunting hound?

Fiona said...

I so enjoyed hearing about your sheep debacle. Superb! probably not for you, but for us "spectators" it was :o)
Sorry to hear you have man flu though. Totally appreciate how debilitating it must be for you. Sympathy is coming your way in bucket loads :o)
Get well soon Graham, at least you got it before Christmas and not during....

Linda Seid Frembes said...

I love the idea of a medicinal bacon sandwich! When I am ill, I prefer a medicinal bowl of potato soup with bacon crumbles and a large side of freshly baked bread. Mmmmmm, bacon makes the world right again.

Hope you feel better soon!

Lesley Rigby said...

I did ask Graham if there was anything I could do to help him feel better. He replied in a flash - "Have the phone disconnected"...............!

Meg said...

Poor Graham! I say sandwiches are *always* good for whatever ails you. I know some people endorse soup, but I always go for sandwiches myself when sick.

The sheepfest was pretty funny from a spectator's standpoint (but I'm glad I wasn't there!). *That* is one of the many reasons that when I consider moving someplace rural, I'm also considering someplace remote and mostly sheepless.

Although, hmm, there is a musk ox farm the next town over, so maybe I shouldn't laugh too hard about the sheep. I wonder how one would help the neighbors redirect loose musk ox, or if that's even possible...?

And why isn't Tilly doing her job on the mousing/shrewing front?? I think I need to send Mack overseas to give her some instructions on mouse and shrew hunting (watch out, though, as he might also try to teach her how to hunt groundhogs, as that's another of his favorites, and those suckers are big *and* mean).

Feel better soon!

Flowerpot said...

So life's a little overpopulated over your way then?! What does Tilly make of the wildlife? Not a lot presumably. Mollie's fascinated by anything like mice. Not that she knows what to do wth them of course...

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

*snorting with laughter*

Sheep...silliest creatures!

Patience-please said...

M-O-U-S-E????

With all the combined years of medical training, Bill and I both missed out on the healing powers of a bacon sandwich. Is it curative or just palliative? Oooh! Preventive????

smiles-
Patience

Patience-please said...

Oops, I got so excited about the bacon sandwich, I forgot to say that I hope you're feeling better soon.
P

Kerrio said...

PMSL! Manflu, sheep and small critters.

Time to train Tilly as a sheedog!