Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Flashbacks....

Thoughts of Prince are high in my mind every day, but even more so recently. As the Autumn morphs into Winter, and Christmas approaches, virtually everything brings bitter-sweet memories.

I wish I wasn't so bloody fragile. I didn't realise it when I set off into Chester with Tilly last week, but they were switching the town Christmas lights on that night. As Christmas carols drifted through the air I just wanted to die. I was so proud of Tilly though - she trotted happily through crowds, stilt-walkers, merry-go-rounds, and various other alien experiences without any apparent fear.

Reading Fionas post about her experiences with Yogi brought flashbacks of the car-park and waiting room at the hospital where Prince had his chemotherapy. There's a part of me that looks back wistfully at those times - we were together, we were trying to do something, and we were virtually a single entity we were so close. But on the other hand it was the most awful time - filled with fear, despair, and inevitability.

Patience wrote about a dream that she'd had where she was with her first Whippet, who sadly died in 2004. Again, in many respects, I'd love to have a similar dream, but on the other hand I'd have to wake up at some point. I'm not sure I'd ever want to wake up again.

It's Princes birthday on Friday. Well, his 'official' birthday anyway. I've never known when his 'real' birthday is, so I've always celebrated the anniversary of the day I got him as his birthday.
True to his regal roots, he had two birthdays - even if I didn't know when one of them was.

Prince would have been 10 on Friday. Young for a terrier. Virtually middle-aged. He should be here - unwrapping his own presents as usual, and looking forward to more at Christmas.

I'm going to a ball on Friday night and I'm going to try and celebrate his life by being jolly, happy, and the life and soul of the party. It never fails to shock me how lonely you can feel amongst crowds of friends.


Princes Birthday Cake - 2003

5 comments:

Patience-please said...

Yes, I think it is a gift of dogs, that in time, their memory never fails to bring a smile and a heart jump. Oh yes I bawled my eyes out as I wrote my post this morning, but even so, it was with a smiling soul.
Ten is so young, I'm truly sorry for that.
I hope your book arrives SOON. I am not living up to my name!
all the best-
Patience

Fiona said...

I know what you mean Graham, Christmas seems to be the hardest time of all.
Happy Birthday to you Prince xxx

BamBam & Eski said...

it's Friday today...

Happy Birthday Prince!
here's a big furry double-hugz to you, wherever you may be.

Lesley Rigby said...

It was a wonderful day for us the day our precious little one came into our lives.

Joker The Lurcher said...

its so sad to lose a canine friend. i had a beautiful sheltie cross german shepherd called seren who was electrocuted on the railway when my lodger left the front door ajar and i couldn't look at photos of her for a year or so. joker is equally precious so we dread the day he hangs up his lead - hope its many years hence. cyberhugs to you.