Wednesday, 5 September 2007

One step forwards.....

.......and two steps backwards.

At least, that's what it feels like sometimes. I thought I was coming to terms with not having Prince physically with me, but the last couple of days have been really hard. I don't really know why I seem to have taken a backward step, but I suppose that grief is an unpredictable bitch. I miss everything about him, and the future still looks very, very, bleak without him. I'm dreading going back to work without him to give me the strength to cope with the (many) bad days, I'm dreading the onset of a beautiful Autumn, and I'm really dreading Christmas.

The only glimmer of light is Tilly, who's such a lovely little girl. In many ways it's deeply unfair to burden her with my 'baggage', so I'm trying not to let my more despondent moments affect her. She's so full of fun and joy that it's hard to be down when she's around, thankfully. I'm trying to concentrate on making sure that she's happy, settled and knows how much she's loved already. She's repaying me ten-fold by helping me retain a degree of sanity. And of course, physical exhaustion helps too. So she tells me.

4 comments:

mare said...

"so she tells me"

So she tells you. Graham, you have to learn: The girl-dog is always right. Always. Right.

Your new mantra: the girl dog is always right; the.girl.dog.is.always.right

repeat after me,,,

Flowerpot said...

Yes, Graham. Listen to the girls. We always know....

Oscar's mummy and daddy said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. I know how we are still feeling so my heart goes out to you. It's only coming up to 6 weeks, so early days still. Be kind to yourself and take comfort in the distraction Tilly provides.

Katy

Balboa & Mommy said...

You can never replace Graham or ever forget the love and joy he brought you.

You are right about TIlly, she needs to know that you love her and need her as much as she needs you. She has already brought you so much joy.

Frenchie SNorts
Balboa