Saturday, 25 August 2007

Helping

Tillys been doing a lot of 'helping' today. 'Helping' daddy keep fit by running him ragged, 'helping' ensure daddy didn't have a quick nap after lunch by sticking her tongue in my ear every time my eyes closed, 'helping' daddy remain alert out walking by disappearing at every opportunity and roundly ignoring my pleas for her to come back.... I'm exhausted - she's really beaten me today.

She was also very helpful whilst I made some chicken liver pate this evening. She helped ensure the livers didn't burn in the pan, and also helped clean up when I dropped some on the floor whilst trying to spoon it into ramekins. She'll probably have the raging sh*ts now - just what I need.

The only thing she didn't help with was when I escaped to my favourite spot to talk to Prince. I'm not going to make it a weekly pilgrimage in case I ever can't make it, but I did need to get away and spend some time with him on my own today. It's been four weeks now, and I still miss him just as much as ever. I'm a little more composed now, and not quite as fragile, but I still yearn for him with every cell in my body. Sometimes it's the strangest things I miss the most, like the sound of him 'checking' his food bowls in the kitchen, and sometimes it's a sensation - like the feeling of his wiry coat against my leg in bed. But I know that I miss him so much that I still can't imagine a future without being able to look down and see him next to me. I can feel him, and this is crucial, but my god would I like to be able to bend down and kiss his wiry muzzle. I'd do anything imaginable to have him lying between my legs chewing bones now....

2 comments:

Jasmine said...

tilly is so full of energy i think u'll never feel bored or lonely!

totally know how you feel for the longing of Prince. he'll be glad to know tat you still feel the same for him then and now.
i was just writing the other day about my silky terrier (BonBon) who left us for Rainbow Bridge when he's only 5 months old. It's been more than 10 years now and i can still weep like it had just happened...

*hugz to Tilly, and Prince*

Flowerpot said...

very impressed by the home made pate! You know how therapeutic I find a good howl is. Makes you feel exhausted but cleansed afterwards. On a good day. it will get better, but grief is a greedy companion.