Friday, 10 August 2007

The Future....

Having returned from France a couple of days ago, I thought I'd update the blog. I also needed to thank every one again for the ongoing support, very kind comments and emails, and plethora of other heartwarming things people have been saying and doing.

France was good, but did feel a little like an anti-depressant pill, in that it numbed things for a while without really taking away the pain. A lot of wine, good food and beautiful French girls does have a therapeutic effect though!

Since I've been back it's been a real case of highs and lows. I've been on the go permanently, because the moment I slow down I seem to hit a low, so I suppose it's a classic avoidance tactic.

However, there is a glint of light at the end of the tunnel - in the form of a hyperactive black terrier called Tilly.

I realised yesterday that one of the things stopping me moving on is that I have no purpose or motivation in life without a dog. Prince loved other dogs and was never remotely possessive over anything - me, his food, bed, toys etc.... and I think he'd really like to see his 'Daddy' giving another unhappy dog the same love and opportunity to blossom that he had. So I made a tentative visit to a few rescue centres, not really expecting to come eye to eye with the right dog for me so soon.

And there she was - a funny looking black terrier cross, with a sign saying 'not for adoption' above her kennel. I couldn't help but ask why, and thank goodness I did, because the sign should have been removed and she was ready to be rehomed.

She'd been dumped at the gates covered in blood a couple of months before, with a really nasty injury to her leg. She was microchipped and her owners were traced, but they weren't interested in coming to collect her. What sick, uncaring, bastards they must have been.

Anyway, she's fully recovered now and absolutely full of beans. She's just the sort of terrier that Prince loved when he was younger - overflowing with energy, undoubtedly naughty, and full of character. I thought she was great, and smiled a smile of true pleasure for the first time since I lost my little boy. Thank goodness he led me to her. She's only ten months old and I'm sure we'll have our ups and downs, just as when I first adopted Prince, but I think we can help each other enormously and have a jolly good time along the way.

She's coming from the RSPCA and they're coming to vet me tomorrow, which I have to admit to being quite worried about. My only real concern is the garden, which isn't fully fenced because of its layout and rural setting. I think they may insist that I do something, which of course I will, but I'd rather not. Obviously, I'd had Prince for years and his recall was 110%, but even he was never unsupervised in the garden. I've never really been a fan of letting a dog out in the garden and shutting the door, and I'd be happy to keep her on a lead in the garden until I was confident that she would come back when called. Anyway, I suppose I'll soon find out whether I need to get the fencing people in to fence a bit off.

Getting a new dog has also brought some new raw emotions out. There are some things that will always be exclusively Princes, and many that I will be happy for a new dog to use. As mentioned previously, he would happily let another dog chew his bone with him standing next to them, so I don't think I need be too sensitive about it - but it's still hard. For example, he's had a teddy since I first got him which is the only toy he's never wanted to destroy, and this will definately be off limits for Tilly!

A little part of me is re-awakening at the propect of long walks and special times with a scruffy dog at my feet. Perhaps there is something worth getting up for. I'm sure Prince will be at the other side of me on every walk, and share in the joy of every new experience that Tilly has. What would we do without dogs?


mare said...

My beloved Renoir sent Robin to me. I understand; congratulations, and its okay to bawl your eyes out about Prince telling you to move on and knowing what's best. Truly.

Balboa & Mommy said...

I am so glad Prince led you to Tilly. You are right, he will be your angel and always with you and Tilly.

I am crying happy tears for you and Tilly. Many joys await you.

Karen and Balboa

Linda Seid Frembes said...

This is FANTASTIC news. I'm sure you will pass the "exam" with flying colors and that you and Tilly will be the best of friends. Prince is smiling at you both from across the Bridge and can't wait until it's time to go for a long walk. You're right, Graham, what WOULD we do without dogs?

-Linda & Watson in the U.S.

PS. I hope you don't stop blogging. Please keep us all posted on Tilly's progress in her new home.

Jasmine, BamBam & Eski said...

congrats! nice to know tat u've found yourself another great companion...

great news for you and Tilly - who've found herself a home to call her own, with all love and no fear.

we feel glad too when we adopted one of our dogs - she was a poor lil' ting, now she walks ard with a big smile!

do share more abt Tilly, will come 'visit u' soon, do come by ours!

fee said...

woohoo! clever prince led you to tilly because he knew she deserves to be happy and spoilt rotten with you! all the best for your appointment with the rspca; we're keeping fingers and paws crossed for you. :)

fee & mom

Kerrio said...

Oo-er - mixed emotions, I know exactly what you mean.

When we lost Brandy and Boots came to join us there was a bit of certain things still being "Brandy's" and in some ways it was quite hard to get past.

On the other hand having a multi dog home actually stops that happening, so I prescribe TWO dogs.


Best wihes, good luck and a bright and happy future for you and Tilly.


PS. Yes they will want you to fence the garden!

shelby said...

Hi Graham
I'm so pleased that you have decided to have Tilly, we have had Bailey for over a week now and he really does ease the pain, although we are very sleep deprieved as he doesn't like being shut downstairs during the night!
Look forward to seeing pictures of Tilly and the visit tomorrow with the RSPCA will be fine.

schnozzles said...

So glad the future's looking up again and that you've found a new companion!!

Em & mollie

sama said...

our wonderful topsy handpicked google for me and my family, i know that! isn't dog magic wonderful?